From the "Going to hell in a handcart with beer as the means of propulsion" department:
Dear Baythor-
The whole Metro DC Area is in a real "Tizzy" today after a keg party at the White House apparently got "out of hand" Saturday afternoon. It's been particularly hard for the conservative, family values types who feel it's their patriotic duty to safeguard the moral fiber of our nation, but I must confess that even I was shocked to see this picture of "Condi" Rice taken by a hidden security camera during a Bush family "Jamboree" in the Rose Garden.
Apparently, Madam Secretary had a little to much Bud Lite and it just went to her head. As the photo was taken, fellow partygoers heard her shout "As long as these are free, the Terrorists will never win!" Confidential sources say that Bush was "positively drooling" and "fixated on the twin peaks" until Laura smacked him with a frozen tamale and dragged him back inside the White House.
Republican Spin Doctors have scheduled a press conference for Monday, during which Bush is expected to reaffirm his faith in Jesus and his support for "family values". In an exclusive telephone interview with Juan Tanamera of NPR, Bush said: "Women have breasts, and um, well, there are two of them and, um, I've always supported the right of women to have breasts... to support their breasts. Laura has breasts, and it's ah, well, some people think, but I, well it's real natural and, you know, nothing to be ashamed of...."
This is precisely the type of incident that could spell DOOM for the "pachyderm party", so everyone in town is following it closely.
Still, it would be premature to get your hopes up - these guys have pulled their fancy corporate jet out of a nose dive before....
I'll keep you posted.
Love,
Dad
