Do You Speak Mumbo-Jumbo?

Into crystals, into healing! Energy vortex quite revealing!

You need a highly refined bullshit detector these days to negotiate the obstacle course of "new age", "alternative", pseudo-scientific claptrap that professional hucksters and well-meaning dupes throw all over the landscape.

In his book The Devil's Chaplain, Richard Dawkins has gathered together some examples that are real gems. They provide a little peek into that magical world, inhabited by many of our fellow citizens, where scientific language, new age hot air, and meaningless but superficially impressive terms are so smoothly blended that bullshit often easily passes for truth.

Well, sometimes the blending isn't all that smooth...


Conduits of Velocity and Energy?

In a lecture on 'Afrocentric healing', the psychiatrist Patricia Newton said that traditional healers

"... are able to tap that other realm of negative entropy - that superquantum velocity and frequency of electromagnetic energy and bring them as conduits down to our level. It's not magic. It's not mumbo-jumbo. You will see the dawn of the twenty-first century, the new medical quantum physics really distributing these energies and what they are doing."

Dawkins weighs in:
"Sorry, mumbo-jumbo is precisely what it is. Not African mumbo-jumbo, but pseudoscientific mumbo-jumbo, even down to the trademark misuse of 'energy'. It is also religion, masquerading as science in a cloying love-fest of bogus convergence."

Want more? His book's a very good read and I recommend it. Also by Dawkins: The God Delusion.

An Apple a Day
While we're on the subject of hucksterism triumphing over credulity: Did you know that vitamin and "supplement" sales are a mega-million dollar industry in the USA? We're talking about serious money here.

Reading all the sales and marketing hype surrounding these "essentials" makes me wonder how I even muster the energy to roll out of bed in the morning without them.

Golly, how in the world did people managed to live to reproductive age before all this stuff was available? For that matter, why aren't most of the people in the world staggering around in a vitamin deficient daze? How can they function? You'd think they'd be so weak and sick they could barely walk.

Fly Away! Fly Away!
Millions of Americans worried about catching a cold or the flu (eg. on an airline flight) take "Airborne", which they can conveniently purchase at their local drug stores and supermarkets. The manufacturers of Airborne have such faith in the credulity of their customers that they proudly trumpet the "fact" that Airborne was "Invented by an elementary school teacher". Wow, that's proof enough in my book that the stuff works! As any high school student can tell you, most of the significant advances in medicine during the 20th century were made in home labs by schoolteachers...

Koolaid anyone?

Holy Moly!

News Flash - Los Angeles, CA
July 2007

Victims Rave as Church Caves on Case

"Oh Buggery, Buggery and Coverup, what hath though wrought?"
- Roger Mahoney, Archbishop of L.A.


The Cave-In ~ Owning Up To Sin
Cardinal Roger M. Mahoney, "Archbishop" of Los Angeles, a well-known "holy man" who heads up the Archdiocese of Los Angeles, finally decided to throw in the towel and settle, for a cool $660 million, with the more than 500 people who say they were abused by Roman Catholic clergy members in the Los Angeles diocese. Trial was scheduled to start the following day...

A Snappy Dresser ~ With a Fondness for Gowns
Cardinal Mahoney is widely known in Southern California for his flamboyant costumes, which rival those worn by elite Hollywood stars in movies such as the Star Wars trilogy. He appears in the above photo wearing his trademark "Chapeau Rouge" or Red Beanie. A snappy dresser, the Cardinal favors long, flowing, floor-length gowns rich in brocade and trimmed with golden thread. The big, flashy pendant he's wearing is a symbol of his authority. He has a lot of these symbolic totems, including staffs and wands, which he uses to impress the credulous faithful.

The Bucks? "Not a Problem"
On the day the settlement was announced, Mahoney was overheard stating with characteristic nonchalance that while $660 million was a lot of "moolah" for one Archdiocese to cough up on such short notice, they planned to sell "a little church property" to cover the tab. According to reliable sources, the Catholic Church owns a lot of valuable property in Los Angeles and throughout the United States, which it enjoys tax-free thanks to a cozy relationship with federal, state, and local governments. As the good Cardinal is often wont to say: "Thank Almighty God we don't really have a separation between church and state - it would bankrupt us!"

Amen Brother...

Rational Thinking vs Religion - Part One

Thoughts On Religion

By
Intelligent People Who Think For Themselves

Richard Dawkins in A Devil's Chaplain:

"Why has our society so meekly acquiesced in the convenient fiction that religious views have some sort of right to be respected automatically and without question? If I want you to respect my views on politics, science or art, I have to earn that respect by argument, reason, eloquence or relevant knowledge. Ihave to withstand counterarguments. But if I have a view that is part of my religion, critics must respectfully tiptoe away or brave the indignation of soeicty at large. Why are religious opinions off limits in this way? Why do we have to respect them simply because they are religious?"


"...modern Theists might acknowledge that, when it comes to Baal and the Golden Calf, Thor and Wotan, Poseidon and Apollo, Mithras and Ammon Ra, they are actually atheists. We are all atheists about most of the gods that humanity has ever believed in. Some of us just go one god further."

Quoting Gore Vidal-
"The great unmentionable evil at the center of our culture is monotheism. From a barbaric Bronze Age text known as the Old Testament, three anti-human religions have evolved - Judaism, Christianity, and Islam. These are sky-god religions. They are, literally, patriarchal - God is the Omnipotent Father - hence the loathing of women for 2000 years in those countries afflicted by the sky-god and his earthly male delegates. The sky-god is a jealous god, of course. He requires total obedience from everyone on earth, as he is not just in place for one tribe, but for all creation. Those who would reject him must be converted or killed for their own good."


Sam Harris in Letter To A Christian Nation:

"According to a recent Gallup poll, only 12 percent of Americans believe that life on earth has evolved through a natural process, without the intervention of a deity. Thirty-one percent believe that evolution has been "guided by God."

"The same Gallup poll revealed that 53 percent of Americans are creationists. This means that despite a full century of scientific insights attesting to the antiquity of life and the greater antiquity of the earth, more than half our neighbors believe that the entire cosmos was created six thousand years ago. This is, incidentally, about a thousand years after the Sumerians invented glue. Those with the power to elect our presidents and congressmen - and many who themselves get elected - believe that dinosaurs lived two by two on Noah's ark, that light from distant galaxies was created en route to th earth, and that the first members of our species were fashioned out of dirt and divine breath, in a garden with a talking snake, by the hand of an invisible God."

Wow! Sam, you hit the bullseye dead center. Makes me proud to be an atheist...

Do You Believe In Magic?

Are you or a loved one possessed by a demon? By demons? Relax, relax, it's OK, you're gonna be fine. Really, I'm serious. Come here, I want you to meet some friends of mine....

Pope's exorcist squads will wage war on Satan

Article in the London Daily Mail By NICK PISA - More by this author » Last updated at 16:34pm on 29th December 2007

Satanism on the rise: Pope Benedict has unveiled plans to set up specialist exorcism squads

The Pope has ordered his bishops to set up exorcism squads to tackle the rise of Satanism.

Vatican chiefs are concerned at what they see as an increased interest in the occult.

They have introduced courses for priests to combat what they call the most extreme form of "Godlessness."

Each bishop is to be told to have in his diocese a number of priests trained to fight demonic possession.

The initiative was revealed by 82-year-old Father Gabriele Amorth, the Vatican "exorcistinchief," to the online Catholic news service Petrus.

"Thanks be to God, we have a Pope who has decided to fight the Devil head-on," he said.

"Too many bishops are not taking this seriously and are not delegating their priests in the fight against the Devil. You have to hunt high and low for a properly trained exorcist.

"Thankfully, Benedict XVI believes in the existence and danger of evil - going back to the time he was in charge of the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith." The CDF is the oldest Vatican department and was headed by Benedict from 1982, when he was Cardinal Ratzinger, until he became Pope in 2005.

Father Amorth said that during his time at the department Benedict had not lost the chance to warn humanity of the risk from the Devil.

He said the Pope wants to restore a prayer seen as protection against evil that was traditionally recited at the end of Catholic Masses. The prayer, to St Michael the Archangel, was dropped in the 1960s by Pope John XXIII.

Scroll down for more...

The 1973 film The Exorcist deals with the demonic possession of a young girl: Now the Pope wants specialist exorcism squads in every parish

"The prayer is useful not only for priests but also for lay people in helping to fight demons," he said.

Father Paolo Scarafoni, who lectures on the Vatican's exorcism course, said interest in Satanism and the occult has grown as people lost faith with the church.

He added: "People suffer and think that turning to the Devil can help solve their problems. We are being bombarded by requests for exorcisms."

The Vatican is particularly concerned that young people are being exposed to the influence of Satanic sects through rock music and the Internet.

In theory, under the Catholic Church's Canon Law 1172, all priests can perform exorcisms. But in reality only a select few are assigned the task.

Under the law, practitioners must have "piety, knowledge, prudence, and integrity of life."

The rite of exorcism involves a series of gestures and prayers to invoke the power of God and stop the "demon" influencing its victim.

Ole Red Shoes

A Snappy Dresser

Pointy hats, fancy dresses, red shoes... Whew!
Pope's got the sartorial sixth sense mojo going for him these days...

Don't know about you, but I thought all the hoopla surrounding this guy's visit to the USA was nothing more than a craven attempt by media hotshots to kiss religious ass; especially Catholic ass.

Well, actually, it was more than a craven ass-kissing. It was pathetic, spineless, unwarranted, and frankly hard to watch...

The Washington Post led with a front-page story that was notable for its total lack of skepticism about this windbag from Rome who parades around maintaining he's got a close and personal relationship with the "creator of the universe". I long for the day when the now cowed and credulous press wakes up, starts asking some tough questions, and calls him what he really is: A Fraud.

A Cult by Any Other Name

Before the doe-eyed and credulous get all worked up about my disdain for the notoriety accorded this "Papal Visit!", let's pause for a moment to remind them who this pope guy is and what he represents:
He's the supreme leader of one of the largest, wealthiest, and most well-organized cults in the world. Yeah, trust me, it's a cult. A very dangerous and destructive cult.

While he may seem like "such a nice man", what with all his blessings and homilies, on closer inspection, his "holiness", "The Pontiff", turns out to be the flinty-eyed CEO of one of the biggest anti-thinking, anti-woman, money-grabbing rackets on the planet. Don't let the current lull in the action fool you; these folks don't favor of "freedom of the press", and given half a chance, they'll kick your ass around the block for disagreeing with anything that they say is "gospel truth".

This church he heads is the same outfit that, a mere 400 years later, finally got around to "pardoning" Galileo (a man Einstein hailed as the father of science) for his heretical support of the Copernican view of the heavens. What's more, there still at it! These morons undermine women, protect pedophiles, repress normal sexuality, believe in demons and in exorcisms, and actually think that condoms are the work of the Evil One. That's just the itty bitty tip of the iceberg.

BTW: Galileo's heresy? If you can believe it, the old fool was arguing that the earth wasn't the center of the universe. Yeah, what a dope....

Absent the choke-chain of scientific reason (what Carl Sagan referred to as a flickering candle in the dark of a demon haunted world) the pontiff and his minions would still be righteously torturing people, merrily burning them at the stake, stealing children from parents, handing Jews over to Nazi killers etc. etc. All in the name of the "Prince of Peace".

I mean, even the birds know better than to cut him any slack...

OMG! OMG! The "Dove of Peace" is going to rip his nose right off his face or shit-stain his dress, and he knows it!
Is there a reporter in the house? For god's sake, somebody do something!

Wait. Wait. Wait a second. OK. OK. Never mind, that's a photo of the old pope...

Bush's "War" on "Terror"

Any time you hear the phrase "War on Terror", it's worth taking a moment to reflect on what one of the all-time Grand Masters of Propaganda, Herman Goering, had to say about the art of leading the public by the nose. His name ring a bell?

Hint: Herr Goering was Adolf Hitter's right hand man. Here's what he had to say on the subject:

"Why of course the people don't want war. That is understood. But, after all, it is the leaders of the country who determine the policy and it is always a simple matter to drag the people along, whether it is a democracy, or a fascist dictatorship, or a parliament, or a communist dictatorship. Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked, and denounce the peacemakers for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same in any country."
- Herman Goering - Nazi Super-Asshole

Spin, Spin, Spin
You gotta hand it to Bush's handlers. They know their history and they sure as hell know a free ride in a Hummer stretch limo when it comes rolling their way. If there was a Nobel Prize for creating a propaganda screen big enough to hide the North American Continent, they'd sure get my vote.

Note that it's not called the "War on Terrorism". That would barely get you a C- in Propaganda 101. The War on Terror, on the other hand, gets you an A+, combining as it does the triple-header of Panic, Overwhelming Fear and Anxiety - all conveniently bundled together in one short, powerful word. Best of all, Terror's a feeeeeling - and everybody, I mean everybody gets the picture.

Those Spin Doctors must have been positively orgasmic with glee. Picture it: half a dozen sleazebags sitting around a table, all worked up:

First Spinner: "That's the beauty of it! Terror's a ghost, Gentlemen, a demon spirit, a shape-shifter - hell, it can be anywhere at any time! It's whatever we want it to be. What message could be better for getting people to do whatever-the-hell-we-want than making 'War on Terror'?"

Second Spinner (laughing): "Demon's on the loose, folks!. Danger, danger, danger! Gotta go on the offensive or we're sitting ducks! Oh, almost forgot, did we mention NUKES?"

Third Spinner (serious): "Who could argue against it? What could they possibly say? And, heaven forbid, if anybody's suicidal enough to oppose it ...
We'll just make 'em out to be way worse than low - hell, they're so Un-American that they might as well be Traitors."

Alerting The Public
Only one small problem stands between the spinners and success: You need more than a roomful of Spin Docs crying "Terror, Terror, Terror" to keep the public focused on the message. You need coverage.

No problem, dudes! That's where the members of the press come in. You know, "The Media". Talk about a World-Class Snow Job - they're still buying it! "War on Terror", "War on Terror"; I don't know about you, but I'm sick of hearing it.

Bottom Line
The world's a dangerous place and we're living in it. From time to time - no question about it - some bad shit is going to happen. Nothing new about that. We took a hit on 9/11, but we're a Big Country. We didn't fold up our tent and leave town. We were shocked, horrified, and saddened by what happened on 9/11, but we got over it. So let's get real:

The "War on Terror" is prize winning propaganda; a smokescreen behind which Bush & Co. enrich their already rich buddies and have the audacity to screw around with our precious liberties. In other words, it's bullshit. Bullshit of the worst and most dangerous kind.

Americans aren't terrorized, and we don't need a "War on Terror" to keep us from cowering in fear of "the terrorists". What we really need now is a War on Bullshit.

About "Father to Daughter"

A Concerned Father's Letters To His Daughter

I live outside Washington, D.C. My older daughter is attending college waaaay out on the West Coast - the San Francisco Bay Area to be more or less exact. As any Easterner will be happy to tell you, it can be both weird and dangerous "way out West" and I'm quite concerned for her safety and welfare.
So what's a dad to do?

1) Keep an eagle eye on the news from California. Believe me, I do!
That's how I found out about the dangerous reptiles and giant crustaceans...

2) Email her about any dangerous trends and conditions.
You'll find three of these cautionary missives in the section on Humor. In particular, I hope you enjoy the letter about the Giant Spider Crabs that are making life so hellish in the S.F. Bay Area and I urge you to waste no time learning the awful fate of the poor Billys...

Letter #4 - Global Warming = Giant Crabs!

Dearest Baythor-

Well, it's finally happened. Global warming is changing the ocean ecosystem off the mouth of San Francisco Bay and areas to the north as well, causing yet another unforeseen event: the emergence of Giant Spider Crabs from the ocean depths.

You know as well as I do that the Bay Area media are slavishly tied to the tourist industry. They will NEVER, EVER warn you about this until it is too late, so I'm sending excerpts of the shocking coverage from the Washington, D.C. and New York City newspapers.


Giant Crabs Spotted Near Oakland
Small Boy Missing at Aquarium

Giant Spider Crabs, a dangerous species combining the venom of the arachnid and the stealth and voraciousness of the deep water crustacean, have been sighted in the waters of Northern California where they appear to be migrating to the San Francisco Bay Area.

With a 15" body and a leg span of 12 to 15 feet, these Crust-Achnids, as they are known to science, are as dangerous as they are ugly according to a recent report by the National Academy of Marine Sciences in Washington, D.C.



While their size varies due to age, which can be up to 80 years, most reach a medium size - upper left in photo - within 9 - 12 months of conception. At that time, their front pincers have a Cut Strength of 4,500 lbs/square inch, enough to snap a steel bar like it was a dry piece of Italian pasta!

Even the environmental group Greenpeace voiced alarm about the influx of these monsters of the deep after one of their volunteers met a grisly fate last month. According to Captain John Stonehammer, one of the creatures bit the head off young Billy Stalwart who, thinking the creature was dead, picked it up and was posing for a photograph when disaster struck.


Only moments left to live: Poor Billy posing with "dead" crab...

"It was so freaky, and there was, like, blood and stuff everywhere" recalled Choral Whitney, who witnessed the tragedy. "We were out fooling around in the Zodiac and Billy saw it floating in the water so we went over for a closer look and then he like picked it up? And we were all like oooh gross, put it down, Billy, put it down? That's when I saw one of the long leg-thingies move, and I like screamed and stuff but before he could throw it back, it turned around and SNAP, just like that his head was gone!"

Authorities said "playing dead" was a common attack strategy for the crabs. "Fools em every time" said Captain Samuel Pritchard, who pilots the fishing vessel No Nonsense out of Half Moon Bay just up the coast from San Francisco.


The Captain - No Stranger to Danger

Known as "Salty Sam" to his crew, Pritchard has seen this kind of tragedy unfold more times than he can remember. "Happens all the time", he said last week. "Some weekend warrior from Silicon Valley hooks what he thinks is a blue whale, fights it to the surface, sees a flash of orange, and that's all she wrote!"

Authorities warned that the vicious creatures should be treated with extreme caution, even in the otherwise tranquil setting of a Marine Aquarium. "Sure, you got the glass between you and the creature, but they gets out from time to time, and believe me, you don't want be around when that happens", cautioned National Aquarium spokesman Gene Lomax in Washington, D.C.

Clueless Tourists Watch as Giant Crab Assume Attack Pose

Authorities believe that is exactly what happened in the case of little Billy Watson, who was visiting the Oakland Marine Aquarium with his Aunt and Uncle, Mr. & Mrs. Worthington of Marin County. "One minute the lad was there, and seconds later he was gone, just vanished" they reported.



In this amazing photo, snapped by an Arizona tourist just moments before young Billy disappeared, the poor lad can be seen standing with his back to the creature, who appears to be sizing him up.

Authorities are considering warning recreational boaters and fishermen that recent video footage, taken at midnight under public fishing piers in the Bay Area shows the dangerous creatures apparently fighting for prime hunting space. "They only do that when it gets real crowded" said Giant Spider Crab expert Dr. Ronald Starkweather. "What this means is that there are thousands, maybe even hundreds of thousands of them directly beneath the piers".


Fighting for Prime Turf


Authorities Warn: Beware the Beach!

Carefree scenes like these may soon be a thing of the past according to U.S. Coast Guard Captain Kurt Karpstrom, who cautioned against playing anywhere near the shoreline.

No more of this stuff

Or this stuff...


"I wouldn't go anywhere near the shore without a shotgun and no way in hell am I going in the water."

Kurt Karpstrom, Captain, United States Coast Guard.

I know all this must come as a big surprise to you Baythor. Back in the day, all we had to worry about in the Bay Area was getting burned with too many seeds and stems when we bought some pot from the Hippies. But you and your classmates are living in different and more dangerous times, and you've got to take precautions. Also: Please listen to what Captain Karpstrom said and don't try to use your new bang stick on one of these crabs; they're much too fast for that! Use the shotgun instead.

Be Careful,

Your concerned and loving father.

Letter #3 - Invasion of the Salties

Dear Baythor-
Just saw this terrifying news on TV and wanted to make sure you were aware of the danger.

GIANT SALT WATER CROCODILES INVADE BAY AREA!!!
Aussie Crocks Pose Grave Danger to Paddlers
Military on High Alert - Bang Stick Sales Soar

This story's all over the East coast papers, but I know how they try to hush this stuff up out West so as not to frighten away the tourists.



Here's a photo of a terrifying 18 foot monster crock emerging from the water at a boat launch ramp in Sausalito, right next to the Golden Gate Bridge! From "scat" it deposited on a nearby beach, authorities have concluded that the giant Salties are making a meal of Great White Sharks in the vicinity of the Farallon Islands just off the coast.


Great White Shark - A Saltie's Favorite Food. Well, next to Sea Kayakers, that is....

Saltie Scat on Northern CA beach.

Ever since the much beloved Aussie crocodile hunter Steve Irwin had his unfortunate and fatal encounter with that sting ray, these giant Salties have been overbreeding like crazy. Now, apparently running short of food, they're swimming across the Pacific Ocean from Australia to the West Coast of the USA, where the surf is always up and experts say "the livin' is easy".

Believe me, Baythor, you've got to be one tough customer to gobble up a Great White Shark, but to Salties it must seem like child's play - and no wonder - just look at the size of these monsters - they make a full-grown Great White look like a teenie-weenie sardine. I was frankly astonished by this picture of a 6 month old baby Salty captured just up the coast from San Francisco in Half Moon Bay!


Game warden Jack Fenton with a six month old Salty.

They're saying that these Salties grow faster in the San Francisco Bay Area due to the plentiful supply of portly, slow-moving sea kayakers, so please, please don't go swimming without your bang stick, and don't go paddling around in any of those bright colored rental kayaks! Always double-check to make sure the 44 Magnum shells are in tip-top shape - a misfire with a brute like a Salty could spell disaster!

How fast can it go? Not fast enough...

Bang Sticks - Worth the Price!


Hell, Baythor, it's not even safe to feed these monster crocks chicken-on-a-stick, like this fool is trying to do at the Monterrey Bay Aquarium.

As you can see in this Official MBA Photo, the pathetic moron has already lost his left leg (doubtless to another Salty) - and now he's taunting the hungry reptile with his right one!!!

Can you believe it? What a dingbat! Does he really think he can out-hop that crock? Believe me Baythor, you're looking at a DEAD MAN WALKING! Even an out-of-shape Salty can make 12 mph on level ground - and that's one hell of a lot faster than "Hopalong" here could do using his "chickie-stick" as a cane.

As Steve Irwin might have said: "Crikey! Makes you wonder, mate."

That's all for now sweetheart, except to say that yes, $400+ is a lot of money to pay for a good bang stick, but I think you and your friends will feel it to be money well spent if one or more of these brutes crashes your beach party...

Take up a collection, Baythor, and buy two or three, just in case...

Much Love,

Your concerned father.

Letter #2 - Family Values Alert

Twin Peaks Edition

From the "Going to hell in a handcart with beer as the means of propulsion" department:

Dear Baythor-

The whole Metro DC Area is in a real "Tizzy" today after a keg party at the White House apparently got "out of hand" Saturday afternoon. It's been particularly hard for the conservative, family values types who feel it's their patriotic duty to safeguard the moral fiber of our nation, but I must confess that even I was shocked to see this picture of "Condi" Rice taken by a hidden security camera during a Bush family "Jamboree" in the Rose Garden.


Apparently, Madam Secretary had a little to much Bud Lite and it just went to her head. As the photo was taken, fellow partygoers heard her shout "As long as these are free, the Terrorists will never win!" Confidential sources say that Bush was "positively drooling" and "fixated on the twin peaks" until Laura smacked him with a frozen tamale and dragged him back inside the White House.

Republican Spin Doctors have scheduled a press conference for Monday, during which Bush is expected to reaffirm his faith in Jesus and his support for "family values". In an exclusive telephone interview with Juan Tanamera of NPR, Bush said: "Women have breasts, and um, well, there are two of them and, um, I've always supported the right of women to have breasts... to support their breasts. Laura has breasts, and it's ah, well, some people think, but I, well it's real natural and, you know, nothing to be ashamed of...."

This is precisely the type of incident that could spell DOOM for the "pachyderm party", so everyone in town is following it closely.

Still, it would be premature to get your hopes up - these guys have pulled their fancy corporate jet out of a nose dive before....

I'll keep you posted.

Love,
Dad

Letter #1 - Beware of Dangerous Reptiles

Dearest Baythor-

I don't want to unduly alarm you, but...

Seen recently on a beach near Oakland, CA

Forewarned is forearmed. Don't underestimate the speed and tenacity of these swarthy creatures, Baythor.

They can even jump waaaaay out of the water as you can see from the next photo!

And don't let the small arms fool you! This beast isn't a kickboxer, it leads with it's snout.


A looooong toothsome snout -- just look at the size of the teeth on this terror.



Now you see why all those macho guys like to strut around in crocodile cowboy boots.....


It's like a coded message to other dudes... Make way, tough guy comin'

Works in reverse when ladies wear them...



I think it's too high a price to pay for fashion, but what do I know? I thought: maybe I'm just being overprotective. So, just to be on the safe side, I "looked it up". Whew! Took my breath away...

USDA Government Warning R-79

These boots should NEVER, EVER, be worn in crocodile country because it really pisses off the temperamental reptiles. Misuse of boots can cause loss of limbs or worse.

Remember, Baythor, a crock never forgets...

The one below is laughing hard after making a quick meal of some Urban Cowboy who made the fatal error of strutting around in Crockies TM near the edge of a municipal lake in Oakland, California....

I know you think they're sooooo cute when they hatch, Baythor, and I agree - as your grandma used to say, they're "cute as a button". But then a few months go by and the family cat Mr. Binky goes missing along with Muggles, the neighbor's little dog...

They were last seen playing together near the water.....
Need I say more???

Love,

Dad